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I was so confused by Kick Ass. It was like Reservoir Dogs, but for kids. There is no lead up… right from the get-go death is treated with sickening flippancy. I checked, it’s actually 54 minutes into the movie before anyone is depicted actually being bothered by one of the many harsh deaths. In a movie that appeared to be trying to inject realism into the superhero genre, that’s just insane.

In fact, morality is totally on vacation in this world. Even the superheroes are mostly motivated by popularity or revenge. That could be ok, but the film isn’t self-aware about it. We’re supposed to think they are awesome heroes, and yet we are never given anything other than a heroic visual treatment as evidence.

Also, the music feels as though it was pieced together by a schizophrenic market researcher, while high on cocaine.

So, morally bankrupt teens murder capitalist gangsters as brutally as possible. Oh and a grown man beats the shit out of an eleven year old before putting a gun to her head. Oh and the guy gets the girl by lying to her. Oh and Nicolas Cage turns a child into a mass murderer. Oh and WHAT THE FUCK! SERIOUSLY! THIS IS NOT BEHAVIOUR WE SHOULD BE PRESENTING AS EVEN A LITTLE BIT HEROIC!

Consider my mellow harshed.